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A decleration of the highest decree

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Jun. 1st, 2008

Oh sweet love, tender, mild and kind.
Without you I am lost and completely blind.

How lucky am I that heaven smiled upon me,
and sent an angel to set me free.

Your hand in mine is a utopia beyond measure,
the simple things derive the greatest pleasure.

I long for just one meeting of our lips
and my hands upon your hips.

I will hold you close and tight
through the darkest of night.

In silence my heart calls your name,
forever I shall never be the same.

Oh sweet love, brilliant, caring and gracious.
Without you I am lost to sadness most tenacious.
No valentines day cards for me.

I fucking suck teh balls.

Valentines day.

that is all.

Jan. 21st, 2008

i will no longer be using this journal due to threats i
have received from "anonymous" people.


i want to carve one inch squares out of my flesh with a rusty lime coated knife until i have none left.

then i want to solder my ears shut and staple my eye lids to my eyeballs.

after that i will proceed to remove each finger and toe nail by sticking bamboo beneath them and
pop them off.

once that is done i can then begin to drill a hole into my stomach with a grapefruit spoon. when it is deep
enough i will pour gasoline into my body and light myself on fire.

for the grand finale i will jump into a pool filled with ever clear and salt.

good bye.

fuck this place, fuck this world, fuck the person that i am.
Sometimes you need a big swift kick to the stomach to remind you that you aren't worth shit
and you don't mean a damn thing to anyone.

Sometimes you need a quick blow to the head to knock your brain loose enough to take
a step back and realize you're nothing to no one, not even yourself.

How come the world keeps kicking me in the gut and smashing me over my head as soon
as I get above the water I've been drowning in?

What the fuck is wrong with me? Seriously. What. The. Fuck. Is. Wrong. With. Me.

T_T > XD

fuck you. make a mistake and five years later, only now are the bees really starting to sting.

I take my pride, and have no place to hide.
if best buy screws me out of $350 dollars I'm gonna be might pissed off.

I could even do something i might/ regret later.

Nov. 22nd, 2007

i'm broken.

emotionally, financially, mentally, and physically.

i want to exchange this life.
At 3:42am strange thoughts come filtering into my room on rays from the moon, through
the slats of my window blinds. They swirl around the ceiling fan and begin to collect in the
center of my room, amassing into a giant ball of curious colours and suggested shapes.

I breath in deeply and allow these clouds of eccentric, bizarre, esoteric notions to fill my lungs
and filter through my body and become part of me.

I have seen the void limitless in its blinding possibilities. I have felt the occupied dimensions
empty of validity, true cause, and coherent structure.